Stress Management: ‘Martial Arts for the Mind’

Here’s a consultant and trainer who says stress isn’t caused by situations or other people. It’s your reactions to situations and people that cause stress. The key to managing work stress is to learn to remain calm regardless of what’s happening around you.

David Gamow, founder of Clarity Seminars, which provides on-site training in stress reduction, says that stress is “an innate desire for people to have the world different from how it is.”

Faced with the desire for things to be different, an individual has two choices. “You can get the world to line up the way you want, which is generally a losing battle.” Or, says Gamow, you can carefully choose what it is that you really want to be different.

Stressed or Calm? You Choose

Gamow teaches employees at client companies ways to deflect stress and remain calm regardless of what’s happening around them. He refers to his approach as “martial arts for the mind.”

Gamow explains that if you were to walk up to an advanced martial artist and slap that person across the face, the likely reaction would be a puzzled look. “They just look at you—you can’t get them to react because of what you did.”

Gamow explains that it’s not a matter of being passive. “If the martial artist wanted to take you out, he could in a minute. But they have trained their minds to be calm and centered no matter what happens. Their reaction is their choice.”

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Transforming Stress

Gamow uses a vivid example to illustrate how one’s response to a stressful situation such as a perceived slight can change. Imagine yourself standing on a crowded bus. Someone bumps you hard from behind. You go from feeling instantly angry and stressed to not at all bothered by the contact.

“You don’t drink herbal tea; you didn’t go to yoga or a therapist, so what happened?” Gamow asks. What happened is that you turned around and noticed that the person behind you is blind. What changed is the way you reacted, not the fact that you were bumped. You made a choice about how to feel.

The same type of transformation is possible in a job setting, Gamow suggests. “The next time someone hurts you, ask yourself what difference it really makes. Why should you be upset if this person was stupid enough to want to hurt you?”

In addition to the intellectual approach, Gamow’s organization trains clients in breathing and meditation exercises he says are clinically proven to rewire the brain.

At the end of the day, says Gamow, stress is about conscious choices. The best way to handle any stressful situation is to stop and get clear about how you want to behave before reacting.

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Stress Training Without the Stress

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